Me for Govenor

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What does 140 million dollars buy you these days? Apparently, not the governor’s job in California. Meg Whitman is spending money like she can single handedly solve California’s budget crisis with campaign advertisements and yet somehow finds herself behind in the polls to Jerry Brown. I have no idea what I am going to do in November because I can’t vote for Meg Whitman because she hates me and everything I stand for (which I am okay with by the way because I am not all that fond of her either). I can’t vote for Jerry Brown because he is Jerry Brown. I have a “fool me once” policy when it comes to politicians and frankly he has already had his turn running California into the ground.

I think I might have to start a write in campaign for me. I can’t be any less qualified than those two bozos. I know how to balance a budget. I really care about education, not just the lip service caring those two inflated egos are trying to sell voters. I am honest and would work my ass off. Oh wait, I can’t run I have no money. Got to love this democracy thing. If I could ever get elected I would start my reign as supreme leader of California by firing a bunch of people. Can you fire people who have already been elected? Maybe I could write a new law which would allow me to put them on a time out in a closet somewhere. Pull them out when I need them (which would be never).

Speaking of firing. Donald Trump has decided to throw his hat into the rumor mill by saying he might run for President in 2012 (a surer sign of the 2012 apocalypse I have never heard). I guess then we will get to see what 300 million dollars won’t buy you because let’s face it America will never elect a man who has been on a reality TV show with Joan Rivers as President. Plus, not to be to superficial or anything, could we really elect a president that would constantly leave us wondering what the hell he was wearing on his head?

In other news which will make your head spin like Linda Blair in the Exorcist. Christine O’Donnell has in fact continued to be the gift that keeps on giving like I predicted in my earlier blog. It appears she has now lied about her education. Continues to mix up Wiccans with some satanic cult and now the biggest whopper of them all. She apparently had classified information in 2006 that proved China was plotting a takeover of the United States. I think I actually hurt myself laughing after I read that one.

If you really want a laugh go look at Mrs. O’Donnell’s new campaign ad which opens with the line, “I am not a witch” and ends with some creepy Invasion of the Body Snatchers line of, “I am you.” Not sure which you she is talking about but it isn’t me. Well, not unless you take everything I believe and stand for and flush it down the toilet. I am telling you though Mrs. O’Donnell is funnier than any of the new sitcoms which network TV tried to shove down our throats this season. Someone needs to be investigating Mrs. O’Donnell’s home address. i am sure she is lying about that also, she has to be from South Carolina.

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Art by Dave Gibbons

About csdaley

C.S. Daley was born in California but has spent most of his life in his imagination. His first short story written in third grade, the now classic "Close Encounters of the Turd Kind," was sold to his next door neighbor for a quarter. The neighbor promptly demanded a refund. An unhealthy obsession with the writings of Neil Gaiman, Christopher Moore, and Terry Pratchett have left his mind warped and broken. He spends most of his evening swilling down coffee while tapping at a keyboard under the watchful eyes of his kittens. They are there to make sure he doesn't snap. He likes to write fantasy for adults and teens.

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